What would her parents think?

I haven't posted on here in MONTHS because I haven't really felt like it. However, after spending about 20 hours in bed watching Freaks and Geeks and trying to get over the negative effects of alcohol, I've acquired the sudden urge to rant. Please excuse the probable poor grammar etc, I'm rather rusty (even though I'm currently doing an English degree, whatevz/yolo/what have you)

Upon entering the realm of halls residence, I've inevitably partaken in a lot of discussions regarding everyone's favorite pastime: pornography. Don't worry, this isn't going to be a rant about how it is degrading to women because, to be honest, I think for the most part it can be empowering. It sucks that the female body has become overly sexualized, but this has been going on throughout the past century, so I think it is beautiful that some women are using this to their advantage. Although I find it disturbing that a lot of women base their standards of what the female body should look like on these movies (ie: wanting to somehow be stick thin with huge boobs/bum and reverting back into their pre-pubescent days of no body hair, creepy [although I could go deeper into this and say that if you really want to do something like that then CARPE DIEM it is your body lalala but then this could turn into inception]).

Anyway, I often find myself thinking (and I'm sure I'm not alone here) "WHAT WOULD HER PARENTS THINK?" It does disturb me, I can't help but think "what must have happened in a girls life for her to resort to such degradation?".. and this is wrong of me to think because, for the most part, it is HER CHOICE. Perhaps she's proud of her body and spent her adolescence listening to Jarvis Cocker seductively whisper "I wanna make a movie so lets star in it together" through her headphones - to be honest that song has made me question whether a career in the pornographic arts is for me.

What irritates me about this common concern is that nobody ever seems to ask "what would HIS parents think?" This could be due to the deeply rooted patriarchal values that society continues to uphold. Nobody ever seems to doubt his reasons for being involved. I think if I had a son I would be equally concerned about his well being.. it's like in Freaks & Geeks (ultimate life bible) when Mr Weir totally flips out when Lindsay is dating Nick - but as soon as his younger son expresses an interest in Cindy, he's all like "YEAH GO FOR IT SON!" I guess this was deliberately supposed to get the viewers to think about this issue. I'm not saying anything revolutionary here, girls are always seen to be weak (just want to insert the best quote ever: "Why do people always say "grow some balls?" Balls are weak and sensitive, if you wanna be tough, grow a vagina, those things can take a pounding") Mr Weir is fearing that Lindsay could GET raped but not fearing that Sam COULD rape.
I'm just using Freaks and Geeks as an example here. It always seems to be the parents fearing for their daughter's safety (i'm obviously not saying that's a bad thing BUT) surely they should be more worried that their son could rape. It is just reinforcing the idea of "don't get raped" rather than "don't rape."

Basically, it's like we forget that man have parents as well. No, male porn stars are surely just grown in labs. Female porn stars on the other hand OBVIOUSLY have a loving family who are very disappointed in her life choices, because clearly a woman can't make her own choice to do that, women couldn't possibly enjoy sex as much, they just do it to please men! because men are in control, and this makes their parents proud!!! (I really hope my sarcasm is translating here.)

This probably makes no sense and could have been worded much more eloquently if I ate more fruit or whatever
I think I had more to say but
tired
ok
bye

Toilet Talk~

I don't think I've ever met anyone who enjoys public toilets. They smell gross, they look dirty and there are always rumors that you can catch STDs from the toilet seats (which you can't, by the way)

and I don't especially mean the questionable loos in the middle of parks, or "the worst toilet in Scotland"

 but just school or restaurant toilets.. Any toilet which hosts the universal fear:

WHAT IF SOMEONE HEARS ME PEEING?!

okay, this may not be a "universal fear," but it sure does ~like totally bug the hell out of me~

I was once asked by a close friend to "wait outside the loos" rather than just by the sinks, because "pee sounds are awkward."

I understood completely and obliged - but it got me thinking... what the hell?

why are we embarrassed about peeing? literally EVERYONE does it - and if they don't, then they are probably going to die very soon.

I sometimes would find myself just waiting in the cubicle until the other person leaves. Then I picked up the method of just covering my ears and pretending to be somewhere else: you can't be embarrassed about pee sounds if you can't hear them, right?! Wrong. I'd still find myself worrying about the other person washing their hands next to me - they KNOW that I've been peeing in there!!!!! and although I'd rather not poo in school toilets, I'll admit that I have on occasion because when you've gotta go, you've gotta go (it isn't like I'm going to hold it in for like 5 hours jesus christ)

but wait, why is this such a big deal?

what else would I be doing in a toilet cubical?!

shooting heroin?

no

It is just such a contrast to the drunk self - who finds it almost impossible to enter a toilet without at least 3 people present.

Sometimes I feel like saying YEAH, I'VE JUST GONE TO THE TOILET, WHAT OF IT?! 

and then they will be like "I know and I don't give a crap"

and then the mystical camera that secretly films me within my head (this is excessive tv watching has done to me) would revolve around me, and I will cry EUREKA, THAT'S IT!!!! (like Horrid Henry)

Nobody gives a crap about you peeing in a toilet, it seems like such an obvious thing that so many of us have failed to grasp. Everyone pees, if someone hears then so what?

and while am on the subject:

FARTING. 

Everyone does it. I guess it is okay to laugh about it now, but (excuse me for completely shitting on everything good) I HAVE A DREAM in which everyone can fart as loudly as their body allows them to - and nobody bats an eyelid.

And maybe one day, we will catch up with our sophisticated drunk alter-egos and invite our friends into the toilet cubical with us, just for like company and stuff. 

California dreamin'

Recently I've realized that my mind is constantly set on yearning for summer. This is awful, as I'm supposed to be thinking about my impeding exams/doom. It's like every time I try to revise, I end up gazing into the distance and thinking about drinking Pimm's in the garden.

I blame Best Coast and Wavves. I feel like I am being brainwashed into worshiping California - I've never even been and I don't really plan on it. Perhaps it is all those years spent watching The OC and listening to The Mamas and The Papas...

My summer officially starts in 5 weeks and 2 days - within those 5 weeks I will be taking the most important exams of my life (so far,) and I'm going to fail because of these dreamy songs about lying around in the sun.

But! everything will be perfect because on the day of my last exam - I AM SEEING BEST COAST. 

Until then I will just have to look mournfully out of the window into the rain

and realize that I will probably never see the sun

because This Is England

the land that the sun forgets

woe is me~~~~~~

In defense of Glee

Since its creation, Glee has been victimized more than any other American high school series. Like, seriously more than terrible shows like 90210?! maybe this is because 90210 is just so bad that there's no point in even mentioning it.

This is mainly due to their habit of covering popular songs, which is expected because it is about a glee club. They are not trying to better the original songs, they're not even claiming to be any good - it is literally supposed to be a bunch of normal people singing their favorite songs.

  However, this somehow offends the public, who tend to think that they have no right to do this (I frequently read posts like "HOW DARE GLEE COVER THE ROLLING STONES!) ............. why not? it's almost like people only want Glee to cover bad songs, so that they can still feel ~coooooooool~ for listening to their favorite stuff..

an example of "criticism" from Slash - who claimed that Glee is "worse the Grease" ...................................................................... Grease is SUCH a great film, do want to know why? BECAUSE THEY SING. Is that not what you wish life could be?! if you were feeling sad, you could just break into a song about ~feelinz n stuff.~ What must be understood is that - yes the singing is computerized and quite painful at times BUT it is the contexts that they are sung in that makes it so good!

plus they have whole episodes devoted to AWESOME STUFF like Rocky Horror Show and Saturday Night Fever and Madonna!!!

I'm going to go ahead and list a few more reasons why Glee is actually the best show on right now:

• it is set in McKinley High - as in the same place as Freaks & Geeks!!! they didn't even change the name, it is supposed to be the same school. Which suits because the lead characters are similarly unpopular.
• they have a whole episode devoted to the Fleetwood Mac album Rumours - ie, the BEST ALBUM EVER CREATED
• they have an episode in which Finn worships a grilled cheese sandwich called "grilled cheesus" and when he eats it he sings Losing My Religion by REM - also Mercedes sings Bridge Over Troubled Water (also, that is the most emotional episode of ALL TIME)
• Rachel Berry's facial expressions
• there is an episode when they all start drinking cocktails at school
• BLAINE!! look at his face!                         
• Brittany has an online chatshow called Fondue For Two - in which they eat cheese fondue with her cat
• Sue dresses up as David Bowie 

• there are no flawless characters, everyone gets slushies thrown in their faces and I LOVE IT
• in a ridiculous turn of events - Rachel's ex Jesse (who is a total babe and they sang Like A Virgin together when they were together) returns by just appearing while Rachel is singing Rolling in the Deep:

• in the Saturday Night Fever episode - everyone is all ~freakin out about the future n shit~ (which is like so relevant to life) and Mr Schue is just like "watch Saturday Night Fever, then you'll know" - is that not the most perfect advice anyone has given to anyone ever?!
• also Santana sings If I Can't Have You- and Finn and Rachel are looking across the room to each other all sad and  IT IS PERFECT
• their prom is Dinosaur themed

ok, basically Glee is just a joke - it is all over the place in the most fabulous way possible and all you have to do is EMBRACE IT! yes, the covers are terrible - they're supposed to be sung by normal people at a normal school, what do you expect?

Omg WAIT! exception of The Warblers, an opposing team who are ACTUALLY SO GREAT. I am not even ashamed to admit that I own and ADORE The Warbles album. I defiantly have a thing for close harmony singing (given my obsessions with The Four Seasons, The Hollies, Simon & Garfunkel etc)

maybe it is because they cover songs that I wasn't really that into before, so when they sing it I'm just like THIS IS THE BEST THING and IT IS! 

just turn off your judging eyes and watch how wonderful!!!!

To sum up - Glee brings me so much joy, I think that everyone should just stop taking everything so seriously and EMBRACE THE MAGIC. Also, lets just move on the hatred to 90210 because that show actually deserves it.

lets all be fluffy cats

When it comes to the exterior presentation of individuals, some might say that we live in a vastly open minded society. It has become the norm to see people stretching their ears and getting tattoos to express their own "individual uniqueness" or to conform to the ~hip trends~

These customs originated from African and Native American tribes for traditional and religious reasons. Which I guess justifies it's importance for some. I'm not going to go off saying that it is wrong for people to use these customs as a fashion statement - it was perfectly okay for Gwen Stefani to rock a Bindi during the 90s, apparently

 Anyway, I'm going off topic. Basically what I'm trying to say is that it is deemed acceptable in our society to scar our bodies with tattoos and piercings - to change the way our body naturally develops to make us feel unique or whatever.

 This being said, it is still seen as ~ controversial ~ to merely leave our bodies the way they're meant to be. Ear stretching and tattoos are alright for some, but they're not everyone's cup of tea.

But it is deemed an ABSOLUTE NECESSITY in a girl's life to shave her legs and armpits. Why is this? after referring to trusty Yahoo Answers, I've found a variety of answers.

Apparently "every girl want to be sexy - shaving is a part of hygiene and style." This, by the way, is the WORST ANSWER EVER - you are a disgrace Dr.DOLY, I'm sure you've never been to medical school.

In response to "do girls need to shave their legs?" the top answer is "Yes, please do. girls that dont shave there legs are pretty gross ;/" which really doesn't give a reason WHY. Why is it gross? why do women have to and men don't? if a man decides not to shave his face, then it is all fine - everyone can be like "oOo going 4 the sexy stubble look, good on ya" but if go out without shaving my armpits, no one is going to refer to that as "sexy stubble."

It just really grinds my gears that women have been brainwashed into conforming with this pointless mutilation.

greetings and salutations

hello hello hello, I thought I'd start a proper blog as an excuse to avoid homework. I guess this will be a place for stupidly-cliched-teenage-rants-about-nothing because lets face it: I am a stupidly-cliched-teenager who rants about nothing. For example; right now I am lying on my bedroom floor with my cat listening to ABBA's greatest hits on vinyl, which I can almost guarantee has been the position of every person ever to live ever (okay maybe that is a slight exaggeration). Well, it could be worse - I could be listening to The Smiths.. which I feel embarrassed to admit that I actually do that all of the time. I am desperately trying to avoid the stereotype of pretentious mopey adolescent and failing miserably. Although I am proud to admit that I'm a fan of Glee who loves 70s/80s disco and is a former pink Croc wearer - and I guess the stereotypical pretentious Morrissey worshiper would vomit if I was slotted into the same category of human as them.


What am I even talking about? surely our society are far too sophisticated to give in to small-minded representations that the media has so kindly provided us with... yeah no, we're not there yet. It seems like everyone, myself included, is desperately trying to slot themselves into a certain category. Reinforcing their type by conforming to Amazon's advice of "if you bought this item, then you'll love this!" and a lot of the time, they're right. Sometimes I feel like contacting them to say "NO, AMAZON - just because I bought The Maccabees new album IT DOES NOT MEAN that I would LOVE Foster The People!!!!" I'm sure it could all just be innocent, maybe I'm just looking to deeply into things. I guess this is the core of ~~the troubles ov adolescence ~~ because this is the time in which you "find yourself" - I've been obsessed with trying to "be myself" ever since I watched an episode of The Simpsons when I was like 10, and Lisa was stressing it's importance (and can we all just take a moment to appreciate the MAGNIFICENCE of Lisa Simpson?!!?!! she is actually the greatest thing EVER!!!)


Also, Angela Chase ponders a lot on being ones self: when she says "People alway say you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster or something. Like you can know what it is even. But every so often I'll have like, a moment, when just being myself in my life, right where I am, is like, enough." When I first watched My So-Called Life last year I felt like it confirmed everything I'd ever thought in SUCH AN AWESOME WAY - it was kind of like that scene in West Side Story when Maria and Tony first see each other from across the room, and everything else fades away and it is only the two of them.... yeah, that was me and My So-Called Life. It is such a perfect show with such perfectly realistically flawed characters. She even says "like" about 134 times in everything she says, she is A REAL HUMAN who doesn't come out with beautifully construed sentences!!! 


On that note, lets conclude this post with some Angela Chase philosophy: 
"It just seems like, you agree to have a certain personality or something. For no reason. Just to make things easier for everyone. But when you think about it, I mean, how do you know it's even you?"

thank you Angela Chase, thank you.